How To Deal

Okay, I have to admit that certain TV series affect me, and this seldom happens.  I’m not a fan of TV shows, nor do I watch Asian series because it’s a fad. I rarely watch TV nowadays, and my definition of TV is just watching music videos, The Nanny and news.

So permit me to post a blog (next time) about this particular series that has touched me on sooo many levels. I have to do this because if I don’t, my head is going to explode. I just finished the series yesterday, and honestly, since I began watching this show, my mind’s been going crazy. The songs keep playing in my head and apparently, there’s no turning down the volume of this one.

The only cure to get this series off my mind is to go to school and also to start watching another series I’m going to GAGA over. So for now, let me just admit that I love GU JUN PYO. Hahahahahahahaha

Maybe I’m too naive to believe that I’ll end up living a fairytale life. You know, the one where there are such things as a knight, granted love or even a soulmate at the very least. I’ve grown up too attached to fairytales and now I’m wishing I’m in one. That hasn’t happened yet, so I’m still hoping it does.

It’s not the grandeur of it, nor the fantasy. It’s the aspiration that you’ll decide to love someone and they decide to love you back. Happy endings keep on escaping me, so I look forward to that too. It’s the feeling that we are fated to be with each other, but the two of you took the very steps to be together. It’s wanting to make each other’s dreams come true.

That that moment is enough. But I do believe that your soulmate isn’t necessarily the one for you. You learn that. But I know I’m stilll in the exposition, because I know I haven’t loved someone that much yet.

But then again, maybe dreams are supposed to be dreamt, because if they weren’t, there wouldn’t be any chance they’d come true anyway.

- Excuse me. This is just an effect of finishing a TV series that has inspired me to move mountains.

To those who do not yet know, I enrolled myself to law school just this Monday. And although it means the beginning of a long journey towards the hopeful fulfillment of one of my just-realized-in-college-dreams, it will have to come at the expense of doing something I love and am passionate about.

Recently, I started working in a school as an administrative assisstant. So far, my first two days included doing work I have done in the past – FOH and FO things. Tomorrow, I will be doing some accounting related work, and honestly, I am looking forward to it. I know for sure that while it is still summer, I have the expressed permission of my boss to switch schedules to give way to my RX training with Chico & Delle. Unfortunately, I am having a hard time picturing the situation once classes start.

You see, even if I am already in the afternoon session that will most likely be from 1PM to 5PM, depending on my section, I will definitely need at least 6 hours a day to study. Give or take that I will be home by 7PM, and 8PM whenever our car is coding, that would leave me another 4-5 hours a day to study and that doesn’t include my bath and eating time. My work requires me to be in school from 8-12 NN, leaving me 6 hours of sleep a day. There just isn’t enough time!

And think, think seriously if I will still be able to squeeze my RX training if it means I have to make up for the lost hours of work. Forget the mantra, “we’ll cross the bridge when we get there,” because seriously, I have to decide soon. Not yet now, but soon. I have to decide by the end of the month. The bridge is already here, and I’m just dwadling the last couple of steps to get to the end of the bridge. It’s frustrating.

I have to think and decide fast though. Most definitely, I will not be going to work on June 4-5, and I am still unsure about the Intro to Law week since it’s from 5-9PM because I know I will need time to study and again, there’s not enough time with my schedule. But definitely, I have to LOA from RX once classes start, and I am not yet even sure when I’ll be back – probably when I stop working. But I have to work for the whole month of May, and most probably, if I am having a hard time balancing my studies and work, then I have to leave my job – even if I love and enjoy it so much.

And so… I am dreading the end of May! That’s when everything is going to happen. Then come the middle of June, I will most likely have to decide whether or not I should stay and keep my job. I just wish I can come back working during our semestral break or what. But for now, I have to momentarily let go of RX starting June. I don’t exactly have the pleasure of time anymore.

I can honestly say that this is the ultimate love song – for me. I love, love this song. And I think, this is my song.

Find Me Here
Speak To Me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That’s leading me
To the place where I find peace again.

You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose…you’re everything.

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won’t let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Cause you’re all I want, You’re all I need
You’re everything,everything
You’re all I want your all I need
You’re everything, everything.
You’re all I want you’re all I need.
You’re everything, everything
You’re all I want you’re all I need, you’re everything, everything.

And How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

For one thing, I miss training with Chico & Delle! I have been out of town almost the whole week last week so I wasn’t able to go to RX. I enrolled myself to law school yesterday so I wasn’t able to go to the station as well. Tomorrow is my first day to work as a part-time Administrative Assisstant at Laren School Montessori, and my call-time is 8AM, so no good training for an hour and a half only. I’ll see on Thursday or Friday. I have to see. But I seriously miss RX!!! I miss the booth and the wireless headphones. They have a new bed now, and I want to try it out! Hopefully, I can have one day of the week off.

For the last five days, I have been in Boracay. Given that fact, I have been more reflective than I’ve ever been in the last month. With the beach, the waves, the sun, the sunburn, Cake Mania on Nintendo DS and the 4 nightmares I had for my entire stay in Boracay, I have reached a decision to start writing again.

Not just any  type of writing, and not simply writing random thoughts. I want to write a story about some things. Specifically, I want to write about libido. And not just any libido, teenage libido. It’s the absence of libido that inspired all this. Hahaha! So I’m starting tomorrow, and adding a link to this blog. I have no title in mind yet, but I know the general flow and how things are supposed to happen. It will be in medias res. I don’t know, exactly, but I have a very very good feeling about this.

That’s as far as inspiration goes. As for disappointment, this happened to me while on the plane to Kalibo. A conversation with my 7-year old cousin.

Yarra: Ate, you’re 20 or 21, right?
Dianne: I’m 20. Why?
Yarra: Do you have a boyfriend?
Dianne: No.
Yarra: You’re 20, and you don’t have a boyfriend?! *insert a very very disappointed look*